CDing...a sabbatical.

[Curly(SO)]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been absent for a while, I have missed you all!

Cding has kind of taken a back seat in our lives for a while. Ed told me a while back that he was having a sabbatical. It's been difficult with our daughter at the age she is, (eighteen next May) in and out of the house with her boyfriend and various other friends at unpredictable times. She does know and is cool about it but Ed is not out to anyone else and was finding it stressful, not knowing if he could dress without anyone turning up unexpectedly.

That has not stopped Ed buying though He is making lots of purchases on Ebay...lots of inexpensive items...but is building up a very extensive wardrobe, so when our daughter is at university next year he will be bursting forth in a mass of pinkness, satin and angora fluffiness I had better be ready!

In the meantime Ed has been working on a full sleeve tattoo...his other passion...I know it does seem kind of incongruous I have found this difficult to work out as I always thought of tattoos as unfeminine but I've tried to work it out by having one myself! I have posted a pic in the gallery. It is lighter now than in the pic. I still feel feminine with it, in fact I really like it and I have now embraced tattooing as non gender specific (of course that depends on the pictures!)

Ed is tattooed on his legs, arms and back. It's heavy and no one would really say they look feminine though the tattoo images are in no way 'macho'. I know there are many on here that would hate to be like that. I can't work it out myself...how Ed loves a really feminine look but can square tattoos with his feminine side. My daisies going down my spine don't look at odds if I have a cami or low back nightie on but Ed's tattoos most certainly do. I'm not saying this as if it's a bad thing, I just don't know Ed is not interested in passing and likes to embrace all aspects of himself. It's just difficult to get my head out of deeply entrenched stereotypes I suppose. I just wonder about this because I read so much of other crossdressers who are single minded in being feminine in a very traditional..dare I say...stereotypical way. I am just trying to put down some thoughts here that probably are not making much sense

I will stop rambling now! Anyway, it's good to be back and I will try to post more often

We are off to Prague next Friday for a long weekend. We are going to the Christmas markets, I really want it to snow!

Love and hugs

Curly X

[Virginia]

HI Curly,

Glad you graced us with your presence again. I love reading your "adventures."

Yes, some of us are struggle to find balance in our lives. Those of us who are not seeking to transistion via. surgery, do seek a balance. I guess that means trying to passify both "aspects" of our existence.

For the girl, it may mean that "girly" stuff. Nice, frilly underwear, dresses, make-up, etc. For that "guy" in our lives, hunting (Carol Ann, even if it is in pink camo) fishing, golfing, car repair, and the multitude of other things that guys seem to identify with, even powerlifting . Pitting our frail bodies against stupidly heavy weights and thinking we are 10' tall and bullet-proof.

I would have to admit that Ed is just at a different place on the continuum than Virginia is as our attempts to appease the male aspect of our existence and as you know there is nothing wrong with that.

I am more than impressed with your open-mindedness and I guess I could say, adventurous spirit. To say that you don't quite understand tatoos and then in an attempt to "get your mind around it' you actually go out and have one = that is, well it is committed love to your SO - very impressive!!!! By the way I love yours! It is feminine, in my opinion.

Enjoy your trip to "P" town!!!

Love ya,

Virginia

[DonnaT]

A couple of friends were showing off their tattoos last night. One said it feels like she's finding them adictive.

I'm an artist, so I like art, but I like to see something different once in a while. I can't imagine seeing the same art all the time.

Then again, maybe that's why some decide on more tattoos,so it's not the same art all the time.

[Absaroka]

Although I personally don't have any tattoos it all makes sense to me. Many of us are not all girl or even mostly all girl and our idea of feminine is often at odds with other peoples ideas. After all women can't even agree on what is feminine.

You'll probably remember some of my other posts about this sort of stuff-cave woman in thigh highs was one of them.

I have a 17 year old daughter also. It can be a difficult time watching someone on the precipice of adulthood. But in general I am enjoying it even as it forces me to confront so many of my beliefs and forces me to put my money where my mouth is so to speak.

Absaroka

[Curly(SO)]

Thanks for your replies That is certainly true about us all having different opinions on what is feminine

I have a feeling I will be on here more often as I now have my own laptop and won't have to wait my turn for the main PC Ed just quipped that we never need talk to each other again...we can always email or message each other from room to room I suppose

I'm excited about going to Prague...I'm praying for snow. We never have snow this early where we live and not much after as we live on the South Coast. The Castle, Old Town Square and the Christmas Markets will look magical with snow...I will post pictures next week

Love and hugs,
Curly X

[Stephanie W]

Curly

I guess each to his or her own. I've never been a big fan of tattoos but any thought of one wouldn't extend beyone a small, cute 'feminine' one, but hey, that's just me. Like you, I do see larger more masculine ones at odds with one's femininity but we're all different and need to express ourselves in our own way. Perhaps Ed just needs to keep a more obvious balance in his life which might also be designed to alleviate any suspicions others may have about his hidden "proclivity". I say as long as he's happy (and you too), that's all that matters.

Have fun in Prague and don't forget to 'czech' out some of those great sights. (sorry, couldn't resist).

Stephanie

[KimberlyS]

Welcome back Curly, good to see you here again. I can understand CDing with kids around. One just stopped in and interrupted me reading this post. I have learned to switch windows quickly. I have also learned to watch out for windows that are behind me when using the laptop computer.

At times for me femme shopping does take the place of getting actual femme time. We do what we can when we can do it.

As for tattoos I do not under stand the full arm or body ones either. But some can be fairly feminine. I am not saying that Ed should do this, but many gals can look feminine with body tattoos wearing short shorts or a thong bottom and a tight little lace tank top and no bra. Leaves little to the imagination. Our state has a small gathering of bikers ever year in the town of Sturgis. People come from all across North America and even over seas, changing a town of a couple thousand to 100,000 - 200,000 plus over a weeks time. I have worked there a few times and it is interesting what some think is feminine.

Enjoy your long weekend in Prague.

[ShamrockFaerie(SO)]

I absolutely LOVE tattoos. The more, the better. Joe/Jenn doesn't have any, but I have a large one on my left breast (a gecko in a flowering plant) and plan to get a full back piece done next year. I think they can be an absolutely beautiful testament to important events in one's life.... Works of art that adorn the body. There are many ways to remain feminine with tattoos, especially if the tattoos are gender ambiguous (sp?) or feminine in nature.

As a bisexual woman, I find myself very attracted to tattooed women. Especially Kat Von D on LA Ink (on TLC). She's just straight up hot. If Ed is interested in exploring his femininity while getting tattoos, she's a good one to watch. Perhaps he just needs a few "role models" so to speak.

Thankfully, our girls are too young to question why daddy's toenails are painted (and beautiful, I must say, since I painted them for him) They also don't ask questions about why all of daddy's body hair is gone (again, my work). But as they get older, I'm sure it will be trickier and harder to explain. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Kudos to Ed for putting his personal desires away for a bit in the interest of your daughter's social development. It takes alot of sacrifice to be a parent, but I think most parents will aggree that no matter how much you have to sacrifice, it's totally worth it.

Anyway, glad to see you on the boards again. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

[Absaroka]

TIffany it sounds like you are much more comfortable with Joe's cding than when you first came here. It's very nice to read your last post.

Absaroka

[ShamrockFaerie(SO)]

Thanks Absaroka - Since I first came here, I've had some time to sort through the bits and pieces of information I had and talk with Joe alot more. I think I understand alot more about where he's coming from, and if I'm being totally honest, it's just nice to know that there are no more secrets or lies between us, and we can start a new, fresh, life together now. Really, it just feels good to know that my husband feels totally comfortable and free with me now, and it's made a big difference in our relationship. I'm also no longer pregnant (Keely was born Dec. 1) and feeling a little less vulnerable and more empowered. So I'm sure that helps too. Also, the hypersexual part of Joe's CDing seems to have stopped.... It seems a little more natural and real now.... Less like a fetish and more like a lifestyle.... Which in our case is oddly comforting to me. The idea that it was purely sexual made me feel as though I was lacking something in that department, which caused him to look elsewhere. Nowthat I understand more about it and know more about why he does it and what he gets from it, he doesn't feel like he has to present it as a sexual thing anymore, which gives me confidence and also gives him freedom, if you know what I mean.

Joe fully dressed last night, and I think he's going to get involved in the forum here, because he was asking me questions about how to join. He removed all of his body and facial hair the other night, and we've been playing with nail polish and makeup. He seems very happy and content with where everything is going. But we're still taking "baby steps" and have not explored any more in the bedroom yet. We took that a bit too fast in the beginning and I freaked myself out and he got freaked out and we had another breach of trust, which I don't need to really go into here, but it happened. So we're slowly working back to that. Otherwise, we seem to be settling into our new roles comfortably. The fact that Joe feels free to dress and be himself has really affected his temper and the way he treats me in general. It has been a very positive change. I'm learning to love my new "girlfriend", and that's been the most rewarding part for me.

So yeah.... Things are good. I feel really great about everything, and I'm starting to see this truly as a gift.... I'm hoping things continue to be as wonderful as they are right now.