I think,

[Toni Shelton]

I think my children know I am transgender. lately they have been making remarks about transgender people, the movie Hair Spray, and how they don't see how men could dress like women.
I don't know if they know anything. I don't know how to bring it up. I think they would like to know, but I also think They don't really want to know for sure. Help, anyone.

Hugs
Toni

[KimberlyS]

Toni, IF, WHEN, and HOW to tell others is always so independent to who you are and what you want and who you are telling. There is a lot of good suggestion in the older posts. But when it comes down to doing it, you must look to within yourself as to what is the best way.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

I will add that one thing that really helped me in talking with my wife was to write things down that I wanted to say. At first I would write out a whole letter with what I wanted to say in detail. I would type them on the computer, then edit and review several times. Then I usually read them to my wife. Later on I would just write out an outline of varying detail.

For me writing it down kept me on track to what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. And I did not for get everything I wanted to say after the first sentence. And kept me from straying in other areas of information taking focus away from what I wanted her to know. It also left me with a reference for future discussions as I usually tried to write her response and comments on it also.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

[DonnaT]

Well, when they make a remark, then I would think that the time would be right to explain what being trans means, and explain the difference between a CD and someone who is TS.

[Penni SO]

Hi ya Toni,

The movie Hairspray is all about accepting difference that equality for all no matter what sex,colour or religion.Perhaps seeing John Travolta in a dress and looking completely different to his norm again has focused their attention on people who society considers different from the norm.
As DonnaT said perhaps find out what Trans means to them and then educate them on the truth,,,,you don't need to expose yourself at all,this is just one of those times when the parent becomes the Teacher.

If you feel the time is coming where you feel strong and equipped to tell and that your children are emotionally stable,then as said by Kimberly this time will only come when you are ready.
Do some more ground work with the children,if they know or think you are transgendered and the communication lines are open they will more than likely approach you.

When I told my 2 daughters from my previous marriage about their fathers Crossdressing,they both said we always knew mum..its cool,whatever dad does to make himself happy is his business.
It is the way that we teach and prepare our children about the community and the world that will help them have a better insight into the big melting pot of the human race.

Hugs Penny

[Virginia]

HI Toni,

This may be a bit superficial, but one approach is using the existing human race. Is it not interesting that if your children look at their friends, they can easily tell them apart and know their names by the way they look. Male, female, black, white, short, tall, blond, brunette, redhead, etc. All these external markers are evident what about oh, say school grades? Each take the same test, same questions, same teacher, same books to study, yet some fail and some make A's. Not necessarily an external marker, something you can't see. Drive, desire, socio/economic background.

Neil Bortz makes an interesting observation about those who question gays and lesbians and it being learned as opposed to a natural evolution. He says that when someone asks when did you know you were gay/lesbian you simply say "and I need to know the exact time, hour, minute, second that you knew you were heterosexual!"

It is mostly scientifically proven that of the ?what? 4 billion souls on this third rock from the sun, no two are exactly alike. Alike how, appearance, thought process, emotional content, wants, needs, desires? So who is to say "we were born this way" (CD'ers) if you will and each of us being "different still" express this aspect of ourselves in different ways.

We each (each and every living human) bring something different and unique to the table of mankind, that is what makes "us" so exciting!

Good luck with your teaching and please keep us informed if and when you are called to excuse the expression. "spill your guts!"

Love,


Virginia

[Jan W]

Johnny in a dress!

How easy is it to get a guy into a frock?

Seems too easy I say.

[Seville]

Toni:

I've read TOO many posts about coming out to
family and friends, and the end result has been
disowning and shunning.

If they ask point blank, well, answer.
If not, don't volunteer unless you can live
with estrangement. We would all like to have
acceptance, but thats not always the end result.
People who espouse tolerance often change when
it happens in their family.

Just my 2 cents.....You will have to do what YOU
think is best.

[Eureka]

i no the feeling, my friend have been doing that a lot lately, all after they came over a while back.......it makes me curios but a tad worried

[Absaroka]

I would think that in coming out to your children, assuming they are still children, that you want to do this in partnership with their mother if at all possible. Other wise there may be a tremendous amount of complications having nothing to do with the gender stuff itself.

Absaroka