I was talking with a group of people last night and struck by the fact that of about 20 people almost everyone said they either didn't really do anything for Christmass or else really disliked the holiday. It got me thinking. I'm pretty used to hearing people decry the over production of both Christmass and New Years. But this seemed like something more.
To me it seems there are three big aspects to Christmass. The first of course is religious and only applies to Christians. And going to church and that sort of thing has always been an important part of Christmass for me but for many who participate in the rest of the trappings of Christmass is not relelvant.
The gift giving was important to many of us as Children and contributes to the feelings of high or disappointed expectation many feel as adults. But most adults aren't real into getting presents although they may enjoy giving them.
The last is family and friends. It's supposed to be a time of togetherness which is very much hyped. Yet for those with dysfunctional families or distant families this can be painful and disturbing. It can also be about togetherness with friends but if your friends are all close to their families this may not work, with the result that the holiday can be very isolating.
I personally enjoy most of CHristmass. The things I dislike are a nagging sense of guilt left over from childhood where it seemed I was often being told not to enjoy my presents too much because after all Jesus was so poor he had to be born in a stable. It wasn't till I was much older that I realized that the use of the stable was a gift from an inn keeper who had no other place to let them stay and that Jesus would not have been arrogant enough to demand the best place in town for his birth anyway.
Also difficult is a feeling I get of being trapped. Because we have no extended family locally and as kid visiting the relatives was a big part of Christmass I feel like I am stuck at home with nowhere to go. And then I feel guilty for feeling like the immediate family is not enough. And there are all these things you shouldn't do on Christmass because it's a special day, like watch tv. In the past our family has addressed this in some very positive ways like inviting other friends who have no family to be with us, or going for a hike in the winter woods to appreciate God's handiwork-one of my favorite forms of worship.
So anyway I guess the question is this. Does a large segment of our population really dislike the whole holiday scene and just try to keep up a quiet front? Is there a conspiracy of silence about this?
Absaroka
how many people really like Christmass?
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Absaroka
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how many people really like Christmass?
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Caith
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I haven't enjoyed the holiday in over 25 years. I don't get the 'holiday spirit' and I feel depressed even more than normal this time of year. When I was single, I couldn't bear seeing the happy couples out there enjoying themselves. Not just because they were together, but because they appeared to be happy and enjoying the season. Hang in there, fortunately it only lasts a few weeks more.
Caith 
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Virginia
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Ah, cause to reflect! The first thing that comes to mind is the commercials. Those that subconsciously try and tell us what idiots we are if we don't either/both spend more money than we have for just that right gift for just the right person and how they will hold us in such low regard if we screw-up and don't make sure that whatever we purchase is perfect.
I have actually been reflecting on this for the past week or so, even before this thread started. Oh and we have three FM stations that I surf but the day after, THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING two of the three went to an all Christmas 24/7 format! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
But back to my reflection, my "ex" was big on Christmas, I mean big and I now have had time to reflect on that and you know I can not think of a single Christmas, not one in 26 years that I was not criticized for one thing or another, wrong tree, wrong decorations, wrong presents, wrong timing, wrong clothes at family dinners, wrong friends (that is another story) and on and on. It definitely has had an affect on me so to me I try and just ignore the whole thing!!! It is difficult yes, but to me it is just another day and now I have reached a state that even if I buy a present for someone and I get even the slightest hint that they may not like it well ----- tough, your lucky I got you anything anyway!!!!!
I am not a Scrooge, and I want people to be as happy as they want, but their happiness ends where my nose begins.
I will conclude with that I hope everyone of my sisters has a great time and gets and gives whatever makes them happy.
Love and Merry Christmas,
Virginia
I have actually been reflecting on this for the past week or so, even before this thread started. Oh and we have three FM stations that I surf but the day after, THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING two of the three went to an all Christmas 24/7 format! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
But back to my reflection, my "ex" was big on Christmas, I mean big and I now have had time to reflect on that and you know I can not think of a single Christmas, not one in 26 years that I was not criticized for one thing or another, wrong tree, wrong decorations, wrong presents, wrong timing, wrong clothes at family dinners, wrong friends (that is another story) and on and on. It definitely has had an affect on me so to me I try and just ignore the whole thing!!! It is difficult yes, but to me it is just another day and now I have reached a state that even if I buy a present for someone and I get even the slightest hint that they may not like it well ----- tough, your lucky I got you anything anyway!!!!!
I am not a Scrooge, and I want people to be as happy as they want, but their happiness ends where my nose begins.
I will conclude with that I hope everyone of my sisters has a great time and gets and gives whatever makes them happy.
Love and Merry Christmas,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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CJ
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Hi all,
Christmas (or, rather, the time of year at which Christmas occurs) used to be a time of celebration of the winter equinox in pre-Christian pagan traditions. People would usher in winter and mark the sleeping of the earth before the renewal of spring with festive activities.
This is what Christmas means to me, as well. It's a time where my spirit gears itself down a little, mimicking the cold ground, giving me a chance to reflect on the year gone by. This time of year is now, sadly, co-opted. First, by the Church, which quashed the pagan rituals by superimposing upon them a celebration of the birth of its central figurehead (an event which occured closer to April than to December, by the way) and, more recently, co-opted by the almighty buck. Christmas has become a time when merchants, retailers, corporations, and peddlers of various ilk go into overdrive in their attempts to convince us that happiness, love, and emotional well-being come through the mass consumption of products and services. It sucks. And we all fall for it; in the end, the only ones with cause for celebration are the retailers themselves (and, of course, the credit card companies), as they laugh all the way to the bank (after having dutifully put all the Christmas bangles and baubles away in January).
I realize I sound cynical. I am. And for the same reasons as Absaroka. I see entirely too much pain, depression, isolation, and crises during the holiday season. Suicide rates rise higher than the illuminated stars sitting atop the decorated trees. People feel the great weight of their own failings as they are unable to a) spend lavishly on those they love, and b) simply be with those they love. The images of Christmas "happiness" vehiculated and circulated by the advertizing gurus are simply too unrealistic. People cannot measure up to them (any more than they can measure up to the images of beauty and success also circulated by the admen).
I know that, in a multi-cultural and secular society such as the one I live in, Christmas has lost much of its meaning as a celebration specific to one faith and one faith only. But people still pretend, just to avoid looking cheap and miserly. When you stop to think about it, there's something a little, well, "off" about the whole concept of a specific "season for 'giving'." Why wait for such? Give year round. Give a small gift to someone any ol' time of year for no reason other than you love them or appreciate their friendship. Give of yourself, of your time, of your energy. This, I think, is what it means to be a caring, giving soul--not holding a January Visa or AmEx bill proving that we're $3,800 more in debt than we were in November.
Merry Christmas y'all!
Love,
CJ
Christmas (or, rather, the time of year at which Christmas occurs) used to be a time of celebration of the winter equinox in pre-Christian pagan traditions. People would usher in winter and mark the sleeping of the earth before the renewal of spring with festive activities.
This is what Christmas means to me, as well. It's a time where my spirit gears itself down a little, mimicking the cold ground, giving me a chance to reflect on the year gone by. This time of year is now, sadly, co-opted. First, by the Church, which quashed the pagan rituals by superimposing upon them a celebration of the birth of its central figurehead (an event which occured closer to April than to December, by the way) and, more recently, co-opted by the almighty buck. Christmas has become a time when merchants, retailers, corporations, and peddlers of various ilk go into overdrive in their attempts to convince us that happiness, love, and emotional well-being come through the mass consumption of products and services. It sucks. And we all fall for it; in the end, the only ones with cause for celebration are the retailers themselves (and, of course, the credit card companies), as they laugh all the way to the bank (after having dutifully put all the Christmas bangles and baubles away in January).
I realize I sound cynical. I am. And for the same reasons as Absaroka. I see entirely too much pain, depression, isolation, and crises during the holiday season. Suicide rates rise higher than the illuminated stars sitting atop the decorated trees. People feel the great weight of their own failings as they are unable to a) spend lavishly on those they love, and b) simply be with those they love. The images of Christmas "happiness" vehiculated and circulated by the advertizing gurus are simply too unrealistic. People cannot measure up to them (any more than they can measure up to the images of beauty and success also circulated by the admen).
I know that, in a multi-cultural and secular society such as the one I live in, Christmas has lost much of its meaning as a celebration specific to one faith and one faith only. But people still pretend, just to avoid looking cheap and miserly. When you stop to think about it, there's something a little, well, "off" about the whole concept of a specific "season for 'giving'." Why wait for such? Give year round. Give a small gift to someone any ol' time of year for no reason other than you love them or appreciate their friendship. Give of yourself, of your time, of your energy. This, I think, is what it means to be a caring, giving soul--not holding a January Visa or AmEx bill proving that we're $3,800 more in debt than we were in November.
Merry Christmas y'all!
Love,
CJ
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Absaroka
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I've been thinking about this further and discussing it with my wife also.
Leaving aside the religious aspects of Christmas which are another story anyway....
It seems to me that when we are very young Christmas has a great deal of happiness attached to it if we are lucky. It did for me. All the excitement of the presents which probably meant more to me than the presents themselves. The excitement of seeing the extended family and some close family friends who sometimes came to stay with us. And church was different at that time of year. No long wierd sermons. Instead we had the Santa Lucia festival of lights and the Christmass Eve service which was mostly singing, and mostly songs I liked as opposed to a bunch of boring hymns. And all those cookies and good food.
Anyway I think it created an impossible burden. Because in adult life the holiday is just not going to be like it was when I was 5 years old. But again there is an awful lot of hype, trying to make it seem like it can be. And when you have young children you are bombarded with it constantly.
The last few years I have actually enjoyed Christmas. We joined a new church which has a great service on Christmas day. The kids are older and more flexible. We sometimes have friends over which I really like. I go to my 12 step meeting which is important on a day like that. I've come to terms with the fact that this is going to be the day that more than most days I miss my parents who are now dead. Which is okay. It would be a shame if I never felt sadness at not being able to see them again. So yes I have enjoyed the day.
And CJ I also like the celebration of the winter solstice, and my Christmas cards always mention it along with Chaunaka and Kwanzaa and other. I see no conflict with that and Christianity since the same God ( or whatever you wish to call the Creator) is the one who created the seasons anyway. Why not enjoy His work? But I'm not trying to ram that down anyone else's throat.
Leaving aside the religious aspects of Christmas which are another story anyway....
It seems to me that when we are very young Christmas has a great deal of happiness attached to it if we are lucky. It did for me. All the excitement of the presents which probably meant more to me than the presents themselves. The excitement of seeing the extended family and some close family friends who sometimes came to stay with us. And church was different at that time of year. No long wierd sermons. Instead we had the Santa Lucia festival of lights and the Christmass Eve service which was mostly singing, and mostly songs I liked as opposed to a bunch of boring hymns. And all those cookies and good food.
Anyway I think it created an impossible burden. Because in adult life the holiday is just not going to be like it was when I was 5 years old. But again there is an awful lot of hype, trying to make it seem like it can be. And when you have young children you are bombarded with it constantly.
The last few years I have actually enjoyed Christmas. We joined a new church which has a great service on Christmas day. The kids are older and more flexible. We sometimes have friends over which I really like. I go to my 12 step meeting which is important on a day like that. I've come to terms with the fact that this is going to be the day that more than most days I miss my parents who are now dead. Which is okay. It would be a shame if I never felt sadness at not being able to see them again. So yes I have enjoyed the day.
And CJ I also like the celebration of the winter solstice, and my Christmas cards always mention it along with Chaunaka and Kwanzaa and other. I see no conflict with that and Christianity since the same God ( or whatever you wish to call the Creator) is the one who created the seasons anyway. Why not enjoy His work? But I'm not trying to ram that down anyone else's throat.
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Lori
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Well here comes my two cents worth.......
IMHO Christmas should be a time of joy and reflection of what has happened and what we received with the birth of Christ.....also it should be a time of giving of ourselves to others, not only gifts but, love and understanding.....all pettiness shold be put aside for the period of time and we should enjoy each other.........I get annoyed with how commericalized this season is becoming and when it starts.........yes, I spend more than I should and my wife tells me about it, but, that is me.....I believe the spirit should continue the whole year........This is my thoughts and my two cents worth.......MERRY CHRISMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR..to all my SISTERS
Lori
IMHO Christmas should be a time of joy and reflection of what has happened and what we received with the birth of Christ.....also it should be a time of giving of ourselves to others, not only gifts but, love and understanding.....all pettiness shold be put aside for the period of time and we should enjoy each other.........I get annoyed with how commericalized this season is becoming and when it starts.........yes, I spend more than I should and my wife tells me about it, but, that is me.....I believe the spirit should continue the whole year........This is my thoughts and my two cents worth.......MERRY CHRISMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR..to all my SISTERS
Lori
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KimberlyS
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I enjoy all of the holidays as that means we usually will be with family, eat good food, good drinks, enjoy each others company, and play games. I even enjoy shopping for Christmas presents as we exchange names. To me this makes it more personal as we are not shopping for a pile of presents many which you question if they will ever get used.
What I do not enjoy is the commercialization that the retail sector and others do with most of the holidays especially Christmas. The commercialization make so many holidays seem over done and not the reason for the holiday. As an example, Veterans Day is just another day off for many or most, not a time to honor Veterans. Or it is like Thanksgiving is not for giving thanks but the start of Christmas shopping and other holidays are similar.
Christmas and other religious holidays, what ever your religion or non-religion, the commercialization takes away from the reason for many of the holidays. Many do not know Halloween has it's origins as a religious holiday.
What I do not enjoy is the commercialization that the retail sector and others do with most of the holidays especially Christmas. The commercialization make so many holidays seem over done and not the reason for the holiday. As an example, Veterans Day is just another day off for many or most, not a time to honor Veterans. Or it is like Thanksgiving is not for giving thanks but the start of Christmas shopping and other holidays are similar.
Christmas and other religious holidays, what ever your religion or non-religion, the commercialization takes away from the reason for many of the holidays. Many do not know Halloween has it's origins as a religious holiday.
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
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Merinda
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- Location: Melbourne Australia
I hate the lead-up to Christmas , shops packed with people , roads packed with cars & rude drivers .
Christmas day is generally good
It is usually a very hot day here in the Southern hemisphere , last year we had a cold snap that resulted in snow falling on the nearby mountains .
I would love a repeat of that.
Christmas day is generally good
It is usually a very hot day here in the Southern hemisphere , last year we had a cold snap that resulted in snow falling on the nearby mountains .
I would love a repeat of that.
Merinda
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DeeDee
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As you age and your family....things get different. Christmas is still a nice time for me, but not quite what it was as far as when I was younger. The wonderful expressions and expectations of the kids are memories to remember and cherish.....LOL..we were them once. Agreed, the commercialism is not nice, but thats not a recent thing, its been going on forever. All I can say...what I do...is walk my dogs..chat with neighbors...enjoy the decorations and be nice, which I try to be year round anyway. Anyone who is a caregiver like me will tend to go a bit further than we normally would to make Christmas a nice time for them. As far as myself, I would rather just sit down by the lake and just watch nature and think about all this, I don't need a new plasma TV or IPod. So, Christmas is nice for me, but its not quite what it was when I was younger. That all said, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Don't read too much into it all and just enjoy if you can 
Hugs
DeeDee
Hugs
DeeDee
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Carol Ann
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Virginia
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Jeannie
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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All holidays were hijacked by merchants.
Hi Ladies
I hear you. Years ago Christmas was much simpler and great for the little kids. They would get so excited and be happy with a fire engine or a doll. Today they bypass Santa and give you their list of an I phone,the newest computer game and threaten to sue you for child abuse if they don't get what they want.
You go to Walmart at 5am to get in line for the new xbox and get stabbed or shot by a line jumper.
Everyone rushes around ,driving in traffic with road rage and when the Mastercard bill comes in January it's on fire in the mailbox.
Then you can look forward to New Years,Mothers Day,Fathers Day,Secretary Day,Valentines Day,Grandparents Day,Rupaul Day and Crazy Uncle day.Wonderful!
Christmas started to go down the crapper when those people from Finland came up with the idea of Santa Claus and the merchants ran with it. If I were independantly wealthy like Silver Lady and Virginia I would go to Tahiti on december 15th with Marley and come home in the middle of january. I would even get to wear my Christmas thong bikini. Sweet!
I asked JP and Katie what they wanted for Christmas and they both said"Cash!" Mini stuck me with a $800.00 bill for a new alarm system for her condo. She's worried someone will break into her house when shes home. I agree. It would probably be a crazed mental patient because no one in their right mind would do that.
I have to run and go do my Aunt Pearls meds. I am in the Christmas spirit though Ladies. I triple up on my Paxil and wash it down with some Jack Daniels. Stress? I don't have no freakin' stress. Hugs
Love
Auntie Jeannie
I hear you. Years ago Christmas was much simpler and great for the little kids. They would get so excited and be happy with a fire engine or a doll. Today they bypass Santa and give you their list of an I phone,the newest computer game and threaten to sue you for child abuse if they don't get what they want.
You go to Walmart at 5am to get in line for the new xbox and get stabbed or shot by a line jumper.
Everyone rushes around ,driving in traffic with road rage and when the Mastercard bill comes in January it's on fire in the mailbox.
Then you can look forward to New Years,Mothers Day,Fathers Day,Secretary Day,Valentines Day,Grandparents Day,Rupaul Day and Crazy Uncle day.Wonderful!
Christmas started to go down the crapper when those people from Finland came up with the idea of Santa Claus and the merchants ran with it. If I were independantly wealthy like Silver Lady and Virginia I would go to Tahiti on december 15th with Marley and come home in the middle of january. I would even get to wear my Christmas thong bikini. Sweet!
I asked JP and Katie what they wanted for Christmas and they both said"Cash!" Mini stuck me with a $800.00 bill for a new alarm system for her condo. She's worried someone will break into her house when shes home. I agree. It would probably be a crazed mental patient because no one in their right mind would do that.
I have to run and go do my Aunt Pearls meds. I am in the Christmas spirit though Ladies. I triple up on my Paxil and wash it down with some Jack Daniels. Stress? I don't have no freakin' stress. Hugs
Love
Auntie Jeannie
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DeeDee
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Jeannie
We're on the same page about all this, but I didn't realize SL and Virginia were rich! I'll have to be nicer to them and try to delete...ummm...ahhh, never mind. I have an alarm system, but I leave it off. If someone breaks in to steal my jewelry, they'll probably feel sorry for me when they see what I have and leave some. And if they steal my dogs...well...now they have to feed the munchmiesters. Its my annual required guilt trip season, visiting relatives who ask "why aren't you married yet?". I should just say I haven't found the right gown yet....but they're old....I don't want to kill them. Anyway....have the best Christmas you can (and to everyone here), things get back to abnormal next month. Oh, I'm trying not to think about "Christmas thong bikini" I really want to get some sleep in the next few days.
Hugs all
DeeDee
We're on the same page about all this, but I didn't realize SL and Virginia were rich! I'll have to be nicer to them and try to delete...ummm...ahhh, never mind. I have an alarm system, but I leave it off. If someone breaks in to steal my jewelry, they'll probably feel sorry for me when they see what I have and leave some. And if they steal my dogs...well...now they have to feed the munchmiesters. Its my annual required guilt trip season, visiting relatives who ask "why aren't you married yet?". I should just say I haven't found the right gown yet....but they're old....I don't want to kill them. Anyway....have the best Christmas you can (and to everyone here), things get back to abnormal next month. Oh, I'm trying not to think about "Christmas thong bikini" I really want to get some sleep in the next few days.
Hugs all
DeeDee
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Anita
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Now, THAT'S Christmas spirit! Or, some kind of spirit, anyway.Virginia wrote: Guess that was actually not you that I saw on TV clocking the policeman with a purse!
Christmas in Australia, or Boliva is a whole different story--Christmas at the summer solstice is just strange to think about. A summertime holiday is very different in character.
The winter solstice is mainly about survival. The the pagans held gatherings at this time of year, to band together for comfort, or to appease whatever gods were responsible for getting them through to spring.
They had a holiday for comfort--we have a holiday for comfort. I can enjoy Christmas, but I'm also aware that it's taking a lot of energy that my body doesn't really have to give. Those early dark nights are not suited for high-energy output.
So we drive ourselves to do things that really don't work well in December. In summer, I work 12 hour days without much thought about it, because there's light and warmth. This time of year, I'd be hibernating if I could. But instead I'm out there doing the party circuit.
Absaroka's right--nothing can come up to a child's remembrance of years past. The colored lights just fascinated me as a child. There was nothing like them at any other time of year. When I was a teen, I worked at a state park where many campers came to from the city. I remember loving the colored lanterns that were 'in' in those years, that people would hang outside their trailers and RVs. Colored lights in summer! Whooho!
I don't dislike Christmas. I make sure to pace myself carefully, so that I don't get overextended and stressed. Even so, it tries my ability to keep up with all the prep that's needed. As for the religious aspects, I've been inspired by the church settings for music many times. Religious feeling brings out the best in people at this season, I think.