Does it ever get to be too much?

[Miss Emma]

Do/did any of you just feel like your CD'ing was overwhelming? I was sitting in my room one day, in a dress, with painted nails and make-up on, and all I wanted to do was take it all off, throw on a t-shirt and jeans and go do something masculine. I looked at my legs and suddenly regretted ever shaving them. Is this normal for a CD-er/TG? To just suddenly switch back and forth? How do you girls deal with it?

[DonnaT]

Define normal

It's not happened to me, but I've read of similar occurrences to others.

Apparently there are two forces at work inside, and possibly, when they aren't in harmony, they fight for control.

[Merinda]

I used to switch back and forth in the early days of confusion

I would wear an outfit a once and then get rid of it , I would feel ashamed for wearing it in the first place.
As you continue that cycle over and over the feeling of shame depletes and you hold you cloths for longer periods.
Eventually you accept yourself and (as a CDer) strike a ballance between your male and female needs , for me I can live comfortably as a male but I need to set my female needs free from time to time.

The girls on this forum are great and can help you with these issues Emma , you are not alone.

[Stephanie W]

Emma

I have never experienced what you describe, although I have heard some folks have, which I believe has more to do with that inner conflict between the male and female when we still haven't quite reconciled the two genders within us. Oftentimes we do what we do because it feels natural, which of course, is why we do it, but other times, not so. Perhaps if your dress up time is at a premium, you are inclined to do it when you can, rather than because it feels right or fits your mood that particular day. Don't worry about it, as I suspect these instances will become less common as you find that balance in your life.

Stephanie

[Absaroka]

Earlier I would feel embarrassed or ashamed and be glad to not do it for a while. I don't really have those feelings anymore but times when the family has been away and I can dress most of the time for a few days, I eventually start to look forward to and to enjoy the man clothes. I experience this as a positive thing, a liking of the guy clothes. It all seems pretty normal to me. After all they too are my clothes.

And sometimes, even though I like to dress casual in both modes, female clothing just starts to seem like a lot of bother. Even the little things like the lack of a fly can get irritating at times.

Absaroka

[Miss Emma]

Thanks everyone, you've all helped alot. I have come to terms with myself for the moment, and everything is fine.

[Colette]

I haven't been around on the board here for a long time precisely because I was, as you say, 'overwhelmed." Dressing hasn't appealed to me at all these last few months because I haven't been shaving. My hairy legs and chest just don't fit with the outfits i have and when it comes to shaving and tweezing and taking care of my nails and skin and everything else, I just couldn't deal with the amount of time I was taking for it all (and it wasn't even that much compared to lots of folks) and felt completely overwhelmed.

Not that I don't miss it, and I think its coming back to me (hence my appearing here once again). Luckily I knew from all of my interaction with others that purging was a bad idea even though it didn't seem like i had any desire in me anymore.

Perhaps y'all will see me around here more again.

[Penni SO]

Hi ya all,

Now I maybe way of track as I am only a spouse...however do you think that maybe that feeling of being overwhelmed, is due to fear,and guilt.....
Sometimes they seem to appear no matter how confident you are with your dressing....or what is happening in your life.
Sometimes when the need to dress is overwhelming it can be due to a stressful time in your life...once you have taken the time to dress and you see yourself en femme,,,,you suddenly get angry,frustrated that you have avoided the issue that perhaps needing attention ,rectifying etc in your life.

It's like knowing you have only so much in the bank and that the money is there for something else and then bang out of know where you decided to purchase an item....later on looking at the item or wearing the item,you then begin to feel guilty etc...because you knew the money was for other things..perhaps much more important things

I think I am rambling here,but trying to understand.

Hugs Penny

[ShamrockFaerie(SO)]

When Jennifer first "came out" to me and really started dressing regularly, I was shocked at how much time and effort she had to put in just to get ready. Between shaving, applying makeup, styling the wig, painting the nails..... I, as a spouse, was starting to feel overwhelmed. Aside from that, Jennifer would spend alot of time "primping" once she finally did get ready. One night we hung out together for almost 6 hours, and just about 4 of those hours, Jennifer was in the bathroom, either getting ready or adjusting all night. It was annoying, and I let her know that even the most vain, self-centered, self-concious woman would NEVER spend that amount of time on their appearance. What fun is spending all your time in the bathroom getting ready, then never settling in and getting comfortable?

I started to get worried, because it seemed like I never saw her.... She was always primping, looking in the mirror, trying on outfit after outfit.... So incredibly overboard with it.... Ugh. Now, though, the novelty of being able to fully dress seems to be wearing off. I didn't see Jennifer last night. Spent the evening with Joe and it was fantastic. He said he didn't want to dress last night.... It was too much "hassle". He also tried doing housework in 4 inch heels and a print dress the other day, and quickly changed into jeans and a tank top (still femme, but not so dressed up) because he said heven though he looked fabulous, it was REALLY uncomfortable for him to clean in that outfit. So all in all, I think Jennifer and JOe are learning to strike a balance, but I could tell that BOTH aspects of her personality were getting overwhelmed and she needed a break.

Luckily she's not hiding from me any more and didn't purge the hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars worth of clothing and accessories she has bought. She just put everything away and I'm sure she'll get it back out when she wants to. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the beautiful yellow roses Joe brought me yesterday (for no reason) and read the lovely note and card that he included. Since Jennifer has been around, Joe has been far more considerate, gentle, patient, and romantic..... I'm just soaking it all up. He used to be so angry and impatient all the time. He rarely, if ever, was romantic with "no reason" before. And he used to yell and cuss at me whenever something bad happened to him. Now everything is so different.... So much better. He's acting the way he did when we first got together. In closing I want to say that if you're overwhelmed, it's good to take a break.... Obviously you are listening to your inner self and pursuing your needs accordingly. Sometimes you might NEED to dress, and sometimes you might NEED to take a break. Good for you for knowing what you need and doing it.

[Jennifer M]

Hi Miss Emma,
This has been happening to me all my life,I can understand exactly how you feel.At first I also thought it was guilt but I dont think so anymore.I am never just one or the other but always a mix of the two with one being more prominent than the other(Yin and Yang). I never dealt well with it until recently,with the help of everyone one this forum I have learned to just go with it.If I am doing something masculine and feel that Jennifer needs to be out I dont fight it and go change.The same thing in reverse.While being Jennifer my male side needs to be and again I just go with it.It is making me a much happier person and my guilt level is almost non-existant.

[Arianne]

Well, this is an appropriate thread at this point in my life. I have just done a mild purge, not like the old ones, I merely packed everything into boxes and put them away.
Not sure why, or what brought it on, but all of a sudden, I wanted to be far away from that stuff, even if it is just for a while, as I know it will all be back with avengence sometime in the not too distant future.

I guess a thing to do would be look at what is going on in your life right now and see what has changed, whether it is you, or someone or something near you. I know that I have been a little down lately, and none of my clothes were cheering me up.

I am sorry to bring anyone down, but depression could be a cause, look for what has changed and see if there is something you can do to either change it back, or change it up.

[Jennifer M]

I think it is the drastic emotional swings that give me the most trouble.Last week I was fine being who I am and had no problems.These last few days it has been tough hanging on to my last bit of sanity.It has been this way all my life and I imagine it always will be.I just need to ride out the storm until it changes again.I very often wonder if being just one gender is any easier

[Georgia(SO)]

Maybe it's in the air... my sweetie grew his mustache and beard back this week...

probably will be gone next week though...

-g(so)

[Stephanie H]

Miss Emma:
There is a time for each phase of ones life. And within each phase there are needs to be satified.
When roofing the house you can not be in the need wear makeup and a dress but to put on jeans and heavy gloves.
When washing the floor of the kitchen, high heels will not work but being Miss Emma in other ways will. The appropriate dress for the event or activity is what is important. Just enjoy the moments and do not try to extend yourself or push too hard. Make sure to have balance.

[Seville]

Happens to all of us.
Right now I'm entering a low...haven't even tried on the
last 3 dresses I bought nor the latest mail order shoe
purchases.

But I know this low will pass...and so will yours