Again, this is not a grave issue. I probably should not even post this because who knows? In 24 hours this probably won't be on my mind anymore.
My first couple of years going out as Lorna – GGs just LOVED me. I was shocked by all of the intrigue and positive attention I was getting at the time, but I was loving every minute of it – hence I guess that’s where and when I developed such a strong passion in being Lorna as well as a zest for life. It reached a point where I could not even step out at night without being on the receiving end of some nice flirtation from women or men. (Even though I am attracted to women, I find flirtation from men to be very flattering)
Imagine a situation where you can meet tons of attractive GGs who are cool with the fact that you CD. Yet for whatever OTHER reasons they want nothing to do with you.
I have not really met anyone at all (not even on a friendship level) in the past several weeks. Now, in a place as open-minded as NY, being a CD is virtually a non-issue, (especially in the right club with plenty of cute GGs present) one would have to have the looks & personality of a tree stump in order not to meet anyone.
Opportunities that come this easily should NOT be blown every single time. It's like - you're an outfielder and the batter walks up to you and places the ball into your glove. Yet you still drop it EVERY TIME.
I guess I’ve hit a major dry streak, but that’s something I’ve always had to deal with as a guy in my pre-Lorna days. But dry streaks can be tough – especially when you feel that you’re doing your best to look cute and to be charming. I don’t know why, but I truly feel as if I have somehow been offending the GGs of NY, while my other CD friends flirt & collect phone numbers like there’s no tomorrow. I will smile and make light jokes only to receive scoffs in return. The 5 minutes later, any one of my other CD friends walks up and suddenly I'm invisible to her.
And as for my current GG friends, well, here's what happens... she and I will make plans and I will call or e mail, and then they don’t return my calls or answer my e-mails. Another GG friend (from a different message forum) has also stopped answering my PMs altogether, yet she still posts regularly on the board.
I feel like it’s 1990 all over again, back to a time when I was a true lady-repellant.
I think I'm sort of cute (either girl or guy) and kind of silly... I just wish that GGs here felt the same.
Ironically I am not even looking for a girlfriend because I simply just don’t have the resources right now, but that’s another issue. The bottom line is I want my mojo back. Has Lorna lost her flavor?
